Where did all the people go?

The mall by my house just lost its Macy’s. It started with their separate furniture store a couple years ago, and now I have to drive half an hour to get to Macy’s or 45 minutes to JCPenny. It’s not that I mind the drive (I actually love going for drives) it’s more that the mall feels so empty now. And thinking about how empty the mall is, makes me hollow too.

When I was a kid there were so many places to go and things to do. We walked around the mall for hours and we didn’t have to buy anything. We never had to justify our presence in public spaces. It seems to me that as more and more public spaces disappear there becomes more and more pressure for children to justify their existence.

Now, there are some places children shouldn’t be. A brewery, for example, seems like it should be child-free. But malls and parks were made for children and teens. They need somewhere they can go to hang out with their friends and escape from the pressures of school, family, even from themselves.

So where do these kids turn to and how do they escape? They log on. They hook themselves up to screens and spend hours in a digital world. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for the wonders of technology. I spend my days watching TV, playing video games, and scrolling on TikTok till dawn. But I do acknowledge the harm that all this screen time causes.

The online world is filled with unrealistic expectations for how an individual should be. It demands perfection in how we look, think, and live. Even trends are dictated by an invisible consensus that no one truly belongs to, yet everyone suffers from. We’re all chasing connection, but are only finding comparison.

And maybe that doesn’t change as we grow up — the need to belong, to be seen, just takes on new forms.

Adolescents aren’t the only ones who suffer from the ever-growing and ever-demanding virtual world. Adults are just as bad, if not worse, at burying their heads in the pixelated sand. I know too many adults who complain about their lack of friendships and real-world connections. I have to ask myself where did my friends come from? They all came from school. Back when socializing was half of the lesson plan. Since I left school the only new people I meet are clients and randos off dating apps.

An adult’s daily routine is largely: wake up, get dressed, go to work, exist at work, feel the sense of dread wash over you at work, go home, feel exhausted, become a vegetable in front of your preferred electronic device, go to bed. Repeat.

As our virtual reality has grown, our physical one has shriveled. Human beings are social creatures, not social media creatures. We get more satisfaction from face-to-face interactions than we ever could from a digital avatar.

We need to come back together and rebuild our public spaces. We need to fill the world with more kindness and compassion. Maybe it’s nostalgia, but I remember the world being bigger and brighter when I was a child.